


Funhouse

by Mykael



Series: Twinsverse [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vigilantism, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-07 14:33:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16855771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mykael/pseuds/Mykael
Summary: “I heard you two love birds were getting hitched, and I didn’t get an invite! So rude! Me and Jasey-boy go back so far!” The Joker said with a giggle. “Unfortunately, I was otherwise preoccupied trying to kill Superman in Metropolis! But not to fear, I sent you this lovely little wedding gift! Enjoy!”





	1. Taunting

**Author's Note:**

> And here we go! >:3 As per usual, the title is named after a song, "Funhouse" by Pink, which I think is just utterly perfect for pretty much anything Joker related. xD

Dick reclined on the couch, heaving a weary sigh as he turned on Netflix. The twins were away, visiting with “Uncle Clark and Auntie Lois” on the Kent Farm in Smallville. With Jon coming into his powers, a farm out in the middle of nowhere was the best place to hide them from prying eyes.

Jason was busy at his new garage just a few blocks away, working on his first customer’s car. With Bruce’s endorsement and one of his cars as his first piece of work, he was seeing customers and their cars at least once or twice a week and on his own schedule.

Bruce and Damian were on a “Business Trip” to Metropolis, under the guise of brokering a deal with Luthor Corp on developing some new, top-of-the-line asteroid mining drones. As Batman and Robin, however, they were helping Superman investigate a link between Lex Luthor and Intergang.

And Tim, was of course, busy leading a mission of his own with the Teen Titans in Jump City, with Cassie, Connor, Gar, Miguel, and Bart.

Dick was having a lazy day today, and Blüdhaven had been quiet lately, so instead of opening his gym, he opted to stay home and just enjoy a quiet day all to himself. Dick gave a yawn as he threw on “Monsters Inc.”, and settled into the couch a bit. He stretched out over it with his hands behind his head, and his feet propped up on the arm rest at the opposite end and settled in to watch the whole first season. And he would’ve been content with that, too, had a knock at the door not alerted him.

Dick paused the show and sighed, because of course someone was at the door as soon as he got comfortable. With some effort, he pushed himself up off of the couch and made his way to the door. There was a delivery man there in the unmistakable brown UPS uniform with a package in hand.

“Hey, that for me?” Dick asked. The man smiled at him and nodded, handing him the package.

“Indeed it is. It’s addressed to one “Dick Grayson”,” the man replied. Dick took the package and signed for it, flashing a smile.

“Thanks,” Dick replied, giving a wave as the man turned and left. Dick closed the door and looked down at the package, padding back through the apartment. He set it down on the coffee table and flopped back down on the couch with a sigh. Grabbing up his Roku remote, he started the show back up again.

Dick found himself laughing when George came through a door with a sock on his back, and then again Sully had his first encounter with Boo. Then as the movie drew toward its end, he found himself sniffling when Sully had to say goodbye, then crying when Boo opened her closet door for the final time. He’d been enthralled with the movie, and went on to watch a few more when it was over. He hadn’t even so much as glanced in the direction of the package he’d received. As his next movie, “Wild Wild West” came to an end, Jason came through the door. He had black grease spots on his face, his arms, and all over his shirt, and he came in with his jacket slung over his shoulder.

“Hey Dickie, I’m home,” Jason replied with a smile. He hung up his jacket and kicked his boots off at the door, then padded into the living room to steal a kiss from his husband (that was going to take some getting used to). “I feel kinda gross, but in a good way. It’s nice to work with cars, and not because I’m trying to steal them,” Jason said with a laugh. Dick giggled a bit and hopped up off the couch, latching onto Jason.

“Well, today was fun, all by myself, but if you’re not busy later,” Dick purred, stealing another kiss. Jason chuckled low in his throat, wrapping his arms around Dick’s waist.

“Oh, I like where this is going,” he replied in a low tone, seductive grin splitting his face. He leaned his forehead against Dick’s and let his hand wander down his back, dipping beneath his sweat pants, and squeezing Dick’s ass. “I like it a lot.” Dick bit his lip.

“I bet you do,” he replied. He pushed away from Jason and made his way back over to the couch flopping down, more than happy to return to his movies. “But shower first. You’re right, you are gross. I don’t think I can have much fun while you’r;e vovered in sweat and grease,” Dick said, making a disgusted face. Jason laughed and carded a hand through his hair, then padded into the bedroom to grab some clean clothes.

“Sure thing babe. When’re the kids coming home, by the way?” Jason called out, coming out of the bedroom with clean clothes in hand.

“Tomorrow afternoon. Clark is bringing them home by plane, for, y’know, obvious reasons,” Dick said to him. Jason gave an annoyed sigh and turned to Dick.

“I don’t want them to grow up wanting to be heroes like us, okay? I just want them to lead normal lives, is that too much to ask?” Jason snapped. Dick raised his hands defensively.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. I guess it came out wrong. And I get it,” Dick started, shifting on the couch a little and not paying much mind to the movie. “We both enjoyed the heck out of being Robin, and then I moved onto Nightwing, but we didn’t exactly have a normal childhood. I’m glad you want to give that to the boys, it’s just…”

“It comes with secrets, and lies,” Jason cut in, heaving another sigh. Dick got up off the couch again and approached his husband, pulling him into a hug. “I just want them to have a happy, normal childhood; a better life than what I had.”

Dick pressed his lips against Jason’s, wrapping his arm around the man’s neck. He was content to ignore the smell of sweat for the moment to just enjoy kissing the man he loved. When they parted, Dick cupped Jason’s jaw and smiled.

“Just in case you missed it, I didn’t disagree. For what it’s worth, I think you’re making the right call,” Dick replied.

“You think so, Dickie? I don’t like the idea of lying and keeping secrets, but this life is dangerous as hell. The less they know--”

“I know. The less likely they are to want to join us, and the safer they’ll be. Regardless of how you want to raise them, just know I’ve got your back, one hundred percent.”

“Thanks,” Jason replied with a smile. He hooked a thumb over his shoulder toward the bathroom and said “now if you’ll excuse me, I need a shower. And then I’ll happily bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you until you run out of breath.” Jason grinned like the devil at the blush on Dick’s face.

“Well shit, Jay, when you say it like that,” Dick replied with a laugh, making his way back to the living room. He sat back down on the couch and turned his attention to the movie he’d already missed half of while Jason showered. The two of them had already been married for a month and things had settled into a familiar rhythm. It was the quiet, domestic life Dick had always wanted, and with the help of friends and family all other the country, and heck, even the world, he could keep both Blüdhaven and Gotham safe as Nightwing. It wasn’t the perfect world he’d dreamed of, but it was close enough.

There was a time when he would have thought he and Barbara would’ve tied the not and been together forever, but then Kory came into his life, his two greatest loves. He had been certain that the two of them would end up getting married, but that didn’t work out either. Then came along Jason Todd; a street rat with a penchant for kleptomania, and an attitude to match. The first year or so had been a little rough, with their relationship starting off rather…antagonistic. But over time, he grew to like the kid. And then to love him. And now here he was. And he was more than happy with how things turned out. He still had a special place in his heart for Barbara and Kory, but Jason was his one and only.

“Mmm, feels way better,” Jason muttered, padding out of the bathroom in naught but a towel. The towel was wrapped loosely around his waist while he dried his hair with another. He tossed it to the floor and made his way over to Dick with a grin on his face. “Now, I do believe I had a promise to fulfill,” Jason purred.

“And that towel on the floor isn’t going to bug you?” Dick teased, poking fun at Jason’s cleaning habits, which bordered on OCD. Jason snorted and knelt on the couch, shoving Dick down onto it and holding himself above the man. He glanced over at the towel on the floor and frowned. Dick giggled a bit underneath him. “You go take care of that. I’ll be here, waiting patiently.” Jason snorted again, but flashed Dick a smirk that held a silent promise. While he went to take care of the towel, Dick glanced down at the package on the table he had yet to open. Curiosity got the better of him, and so he began to open it. As soon as he pulled the box open, Jason came back out in his towel and made his way to the bathroom to change into the clothes he’d left there (intentionally). When he came back out, Dick had pulled a blank DvD case out of the box, setting the box aside to look it over.

“What is it?” Jason asked, sitting down on the couch beside Dick. Dick glanced up at him, then opened the case to find a blank DvD inside.

“I don’t know. A movie maybe?” Dick suggested, popping the disc out of the case.

“Whose it from?” Jason asked, grabbing the box it came in.

“Don’t know. It didn’t say.”

“I don’t trust it,” Jason said then with a frown. Dick frowned back at him and nodded in agreement.

“Neither do I. Should we check it out?”

“Fine, but if some zombie bitch climbs out of a well, we’re turning it off,” Jason replied, to which Dick burst into laughter. Dick climbed off of the couch and turned off Netflix, switching the TV over to HDMI 2 which the DvD player was hooked up to. He popped the disc in and turned it on, then joined Jason back on the couch. The two of them watched as a black screen was all that could be seen for almost a minute. Then, the worst happened…

“Hello, hello my favorite little birdies!” came the Joker’s voice, and then his face appeared on the screen, with Harley in the background, wearing an elegant flower girl dress with a basket of flowers in her hands, but with her Harley Quinn makeup on. Dick glanced over at Jason, and felt the man’s entire body go rigid, saw his hands clench into fists on his knees.

“Mistah Jay and I are so upset!” Harley called, mock crying. The Joker tsked and shook his head.

“I heard you two love birds were getting hitched, and I didn’t get an invite! So rude! Me and Jasy-boy go back so far!” The Joker said with a giggle. “Unfortunately, I was otherwise preoccupied trying to kill Superman in Metropolis! But not to fear, I sent you this lovely little wedding gift! Enjoy!” The video suddenly distorted for a moment, and then--

_“Aw, hurt doesn’t it? Knowing that mommy didn’t really love you?” The Joker taunted, rubbing at his eyes as he mock cried._

_“Fuck you,” Jason spat, spitting blood in the clown’s face._

Jason’s eyes widened in shock as he stared at the video, his heart racing, forehead dripping with sweat. _No, not again. No._

_“Y’know, the last bird boy actually had some manners. Maybe it’s time for a lesson,” The Joker replied, lips curling into a grin as he struck Jason with the crowbar so hard, the chair tipped over._

Jason slammed his eyes shut and dug his hands into his hair as he heard the sound of the crowbar striking him over, and over from the TV, heard the sound of the Joker’s laughing, his taunts and jokes. Dick jumped up off of the couch to turn it off, feeling a mix of utter revulsion and pure rage.

“Don’t,” Jason called, his voice shaking with held back emotion. Jason’s hands were shaking and his pulse was racing, but he needed to see the rest of it. Dick paused right beside the DvD player and glanced back at Jason worriedly. “There could be…something important on there. The Joker does everything with a greater purpose,” Jason said in a low tone. Dick nodded, but he refused to watch young Jason get pulverized by the Joker. He closed his eyes and turned away from the TV, but he could still hear the crowbar striking Jason, could ear Jason’s pained cries. And then it just stopped.

“Ah, fond memories, amirite guys?” The Joker asked, giggling hysterically. “But you should know this is only part one of my Wedding Gift to you!” he said. Suddenly, his expression grew more sinister and his tone changed to a lower, much darker one. “Part two is coming soon. So keep your eyes and ears peeled, you newly weds!” The Joker taunted, cackling like a maniac before the video ended.

“Jason, are you--” Dick began, moving toward Jason. Jason shouted in rage and jumped up off the couch, throwing the box across the room and sending it crashing against the wall. His hands were shaking uncontrollably with a mix of rage and anxiety. He stared down at his own two hands, then dug his fingers into his scalp. Dick was by his side in an instant and pulled him into a hug.

“Jason,” Dick said softly. But Jason pulled away from him abruptly and stormed into the bedroom.

“He’s fucking dead!” Jason shouted as he started grabbing his gear. Dick raced into the room after him just in time to see him putting on his Red Hood gear.

“Jason, wait!” Dick called, grabbing Jason by the shoulder and stopping him. Jason spun around, glaring at Dick, his anger reaching peak levels. “You need to calm down. I know that’s asking a lot right now, but if you’re not careful, and you run off half-cocked--” Dick began, but Jason interrupted, gently pushed past him and taking several deep breaths as he counted backward from ten.

“I know, I know. I could find myself in a trap. I know,” he said calmly. He ran his hands through his hair and turned to Dick, his expression blank. “So what do you suggest?” he asked.

“We take the disc, and take it to the cave. We call Bruce and let him know what’s going on, and then we consult with him, and we discuss the best course of action,” Dick moved toward Jason and smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder “together.” Jason took another deep breath and nodded.

“Alright. Together,” he answered. Dick got dressed quickly while Jason decompressed, then went into the living room and grabbed the disc out of the DVD played, along with the box, just in case. He made his way back into the bedroom and knocked on the door frame, letting Jason know he was there.

“Are you ready to go? Are you feeling okay?” Dick asked. Jason looked up at him and nodded, pushing himself up onto his feet. He looked down at his hands to see that he was still shaking.

“Can you drive?” Jason asked. Dick nodded in response, then moved toward Jason and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“Alright. Come on.”


	2. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Red Hood made his way down to The Bowery to meet with his lieutenants, Blackjack and Queenie. They, their men, and some of the homeless had been reporting a decreasing number of children running around. That would’ve been great if they were being put in an orphanage, or adopted, but they weren’t. Hood himself personally went to every orphanage to find out about new children showing up, and yet none of them reported any such thing.

Bruce and Damian came back from Metropolis they same day that Dick and Jason brought the news of the Joker, along with the “package” he sent them. It was fortunate however, that’d he’d finished wrapping up the investigation and was in the process of taking down Intergang. He left Clark to deal with Luthor and came back to the cave to deal with this.

Bruce was currently sitting at the computer, playing the DVD again while examining the box and all its contents, trying to find anything that could lead back to the Joker. Dick was training with Damian in the background and Jason was upstairs cooking dinner with Alfred. He didn’t want to be down in the cave to either see or hear that footage again. He had made so much progress with letting go, and yet watching that footage…he could _ _feel__  the rage that directed him back to Gotham the first time burning in him anew.

Even Bruce had a hard time watching the footage, but he did. With every strike of the crowbar, he felt a new a pang of guilt well up inside him. _This was my fault. Why wasn’t I better? Why wasn’t I faster? Why couldn’t I save him? I should have trained him harder. I should have trained him better. I failed him. I failed my partner, my soldier…my son._

When it was over, Bruce was glaring at the screen, fingers interlaced in front of his face, reliving what he’d done to the Joker for taking Jason away from him. He’d spent weeks tracking down every lead, scoping out every location, hunting the Joker to no end. And when he found him… _he beat the living hell out of the Joker._ The Joker had to be shipped back to Arkham in a full body cast, and in that thing, he’d stay for the next six months. He almost took the clown’s life that day. Had Clark, his friend, not got wind of what he was doing, he might not have made it there in time to stop him from making that irreversible mistake…

“So, what do we have?” Dick asked, padding over toward Bruce in full Nightwing attire, sans the mask. He stopped behind Bruce’s chair and leaned against the back of it, staring up at the screen which (thankfully) no longer had the video up on it.

“Nothing. The Joker has covered his tracks well,” Bruce replied in a flat tone, donning a stoic facade as he got up and moved across the cave. Dick followed after him, mildly surprised that Bruce hadn’t found anything, but at the same time, also kind of not, because this was the Joker they were dealing with.

“So…what should we do now? The kids are coming home soon! With the Joker still out there and threatening our family--” Dick began, but Bruce interrupted. He spun around toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Dick, I promise you--”

“Yeah, how’re we gonna protect our kids?” Jason asked, eyes narrowing as he came down the stairs. He was still in civilian attire for the moment, as he joined Dick in front of Bruce. “I know you said no killing, Bruce, but I promise you right now, if he lays a hand on my kids--” Jason started, but Bruce interrupted him.

“They’re going to be fine, Jason,” Bruce interrupted. He placed a hand on their shoulders, his expression softening. “I’m going to protect them. Both of them. I won’t let the Joker hurt them.”

“Like you didn’t let the Joker hurt me,” Jason muttered under his breath. Dick’s eyes narrowed and elbowed the man in the side.

“Don’t be so salty, Jason.”

“What? I was kidding! I have dark humor! I can’t help it; few too many crow bars to the head, y’know,” Jason joked, making Dick groan and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Jason,” Dick sighed. Jason snorted with held back laughter. Though he hid it well with humor and sarcasm, he was actually worried about whatever the Joker had planned for them. So far, he showed no signs of knowing about Kaden and Keiran. Best to try and keep it that way.

“For now, we wait, and watch intently. The Joker is obviously planning something and we wont know what until he wants us to know,” Bruce explained. He turned his back on them and made for the lockers where he stripped out of his gear and changed back into civilian attire. “For now, let’s just enjoy dinner and go about our lives.”

“Sound advice. Also surprising, coming from you,” Jason said, arching an eyebrow. Bruce shrugged his shoulders slightly.

“It’s the joker we’re dealing with. We’ll still go out on patrol tonight, but if he can at least give the appearance of disinterest, it might get under his skin, and cause him to slip up and give something away before whatever he’s planning comes to fruition.”

“Right, because he hates to be ignored,” Dick commented, flashing a grin. Jason snorted with held back laughter.

“I like it. The Joker annoys the shit out of us all the time, it’d be nice to give the fucker a taste of his own medicine,” Jason added in, grinning like the devil. Bruce snorted, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips as he patted Jason’s shoulder and gestured toward the stairs.

“Come on. Dinner should be ready,” he said. “And I know I’ve never said it before, but I actually like your cooking Jason.”

“What? Really?” Jason asked, arching an eyebrow. Bruce nodded in the affirmative.

“Really. But then you had a good teacher--”

“Alfred,” Dick, Jason and Bruce all said in unison.

* * *

Life continued on as normal for all of them. Jason and Dick continued about their lives, doing their jobs, raising the twins and going on patrol in Gotham and Blüdhaven. Batman had paid a few visits to Arkham, to the Joker. He was still there, still in his cell and bound in a straight jacket with no signs he’d ever left, only he didn’t bring up the “gift” he’d sent to Dick and Jason. As per the plan, they wanted the Joker to think they were disinterested so he’d get annoyed and let something, anything, slip.

Though as a full two weeks passed with nothing seemingly amiss, and no crimes from the Joker, no breakouts or anything, Bruce was beginning to wonder if they had made a mountain out of a mole hill. This was the Joker after all; one of his many personalities was that of a simple prankster, but with a dark sense of humor. That video could’ve been nothing more than a means to get under Jason’s skin, to put them all on edge. As another week passed and still, nothing had happened, they all came to that same conclusion.

All except the Red Hood, and he had good reason to believe that the Joker was making his move.

_“But you should know this is only part one of my Wedding Gift to you! Part two is coming soon. So keep your eyes and ears peeled, you newly weds!”_

The Red Hood made his way down to The Bowery to meet with his lieutenants, Blackjack and Queenie. They, their men, and some of the homeless had been reporting a decreasing number of children running around. That would’ve been great if they were being put in an orphanage, or adopted, but they weren’t. Hood himself personally went to every orphanage to find out about new children showing up, and yet none of them reported any such thing.

It was as if the children were simply vanishing into thin air. Although, Jason knew better. He also kept it all a secret from Batman and Nightwing, just in case it was just a simple child trafficking ring. Although he was almost certain it was the Joker. All the more reason to keep it quiet, so he could give the clown a full clip.

“Any news, Blackjack?” Hood asked, dropping down from a roof nearby to land in front of Queenie and Blackjack. The three of them were gathered in front of an old abandoned warehouse, far away from prying eyes. Hood had made a sweep of the area, looking for any kind of surveillance equipment, but found none.

“None at all. I got my boys looking high and low for the kids, but they can’t find shit,” Blackjack relied, lighting up a cigar. Queenie glanced over at him, then back to Hood, placing a hand on her hip.

“Dunno boss. I have my guys looking into this. No leads, no trails, nothing. But it ain’t just any homeless kids either.”

“Oh?” Hood asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No. You know a lot of the homeless down here in the Bowery have children. The only children going missing, are those without parents.”

“Taking children they don’t think anyone will miss,” Hood growled, eyes narrowing dangerously underneath the mask.

“Seems that way.”

“Interesting,” came a voice from behind them. Blackjack and Queenie flinched and back up, and Hood sighed, turning around. Batman and Nightwing came out of the alleyway behind them.

“Uh, boss--” Blackjack started.

“Go. Now,” Hood ordered. Both Queenie and Blackjack nodded and retreated to their cars nearby, leaving the three vigilantes behind. Hood turned to them and took off his helmet, wearing a black domino mask underneath, and glared at the two of them.

“How the hell did you know I was here? I swept the place for bugs,” Hood snapped. Nightwing flashed an apologetic smile and moved toward Hood, reaching inside his jacket for his phone. “What the--” he started, but then Nightwing opened the phone and showed him the hidden surveillance software he himself had installed in it.

“I’m sorry. I--”

“What the fuck, Dick,” Jason snarled in a low tone, snatching his phone back and deleting the software. “I expected that garbage from him--” he hissed, pointing accusingly at Batman “but not from you. You don’t trust me?”

“I _do_  trust you. But I was also worried. You…have a tendency to do stupid shit when you’re upset. It comes from a good place, but it’s still…well, stupid,” Nightwing replied with a shrug of his shoulders. Hood snorted and pocketed his phone when he was content that the thing was clean.

“Well I…suppose you’re not entirely wrong. Still--” Jason started, lowering his voice again “--you’re supposed to be my husband, and fucking trust me. Putting spyware on my phone? Dick move, Dick.”

“I’m sorry--”

“You should have brought this to our attention sooner, Hood,” Batman cut in. He approached Hood, who stood his ground and glared back at him. He was a little…possessive over his territory down here in The Bowery. Perhaps it was a trait he’d picked up playing Crime Lord for so long. He took protection the homeless and the children seriously, however. So if the Joker was involved, hindsight dictated he should’ve done as Bruce had said, and let them in on it. Though his pride would not permit him to admit that, at least not out loud.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure if it was the Joker, or--”

“Come on, Hood. We’re not stupid,” Nightwing said with a sigh, rolling his eyes. Hood snorted and pulled his helmet back on.

“Okay, fine. I’ve had my suspicions. Especially since I haven’t been able to track any sign of any kind of trafficking operation down here in The Bowery,” Hood admitted. Nightwing smirked a little and patted his shoulders.

“See? Was that so hard?” he asked. Hood snorted again and brushed the man’s arm off his shoulder.

“Little bit,” he replied, smirking underneath the mask. He turned to Batman and heaved a sigh. “Okay, so…what now?”

Batman was silent for a time as he stared at Hood. Hood remained motionless, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting patiently for an answer. Finally, after a whole minute of silence had passed, Batman placed a hand on Hood’s shoulder.

“You’ve done some good work down here in The Bowery. The homeless trust you, and some of them have even stepped up to join your gang and help keep their neighborhoods safe. I’m…” Batman began, lips tugging into a smirk. Nightwing snickered and rested his elbow on Hood’s shoulder, leaning against him.

“He’s trying to tell you he’s proud of you, but like you, he’d emotionally constipated,” Nightwing teased. Batman’s eyes narrowed and Jason snorted in response.

“I’m also trying to say that…I trust you. This is your territory, and you’ve been doing well with it. Keep your eyes peeled and keep us updated on any new information,” Batman finished.

“Wow, really? Anything else?” Hood asked, a little surprised by Batman’s approval.

“Yes, Oracle is back in town,” came Barbara’s voice over the comm link.

“Bar--Oracle? But I thought you were in Metropolis?” Hood asked. Oracle laughed over the comm link.

“Oh I was, but I missed home, and I thought it was time to return. Wayne Enterprises took it upon themselves to rebuild the Clock tower, and this time, it got a few upgrades. Namely a state-of-the-art computer mainframe tailored to my preferred specifications, as well as a cozy living space for long missions,” Oracle explained. Hood grinned under the mask and was more than happy to have Barbara--Oracle--back, if not out in the field as Batgirl like the old days.

“With Oracle’s help, we’d like to run a stake out operation down here in The Bowery to find out for certain who is taking the children, and where,” Batman said. Hood glanced back over at Batman and nodded, then turned to leave.

“Alright. I’ll spread the word; The Bowery is to work with Batman to find these kids,” Hood replied, and off into the night he disappeared.


	3. Stakeout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello, hello my esteemed costume clad friends! You’re all invited to a wild party at my house in Amusement Mile, tomorrow night! It’s guaranteed to be a blast! You’ll split your sides laughing! And don’t disappoint me, I’ll be waiting,” came the Joker’s voice from the recording, followed by a cackling laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:3

Night fell upon Gotham city like a black blanket stretched across the sky. It was a a clear night, clear enough to see the stars which dotted the skies like diamonds. No matter how nice the night was though, The Bowery was always rotten, but less so since the Red Hood took over. And right now, he, Batman, Nightwing, Robin, and Oracle were keeping their eyes peeled and their ears to the ground. They were determined to discover who was kidnapping the homeless children and why.

“Report,” Batman ordered over the comm link.

“Nothing so far. Or rather, nothing out of the ordinary for the Bowery,” Hood called over the comm link.

“Nothing of note over here,” came Robin’s voice.

“Nada. Everything’s been quiet here,” Nightwing reported.

“Traffic cams as clean,” Oracle chimed in. So far, the night in the Bowery was quiet. All of Gotham was quiet tonight. That was unusual, but it had been known to happen on a few occasions in the past.

“So what’s our next move?” Hood asked. He heard the sound of footsteps below and saw two children, one boy and one girl, running toward an abandoned building. Behind them, were two thugs in clown masks. “Nevermind. Got two clown thugs chasing a couple of kids. I’m going in.”

“No hood, wai--” Batman tried to say, but Hood switched off the link. He wasn’t going to wait around and let the kids get captured. Hood swung across an alley to the adjacent building to where the thugs had gone in pursuit of the children.

“C’mere you little brats,” one of the clown-faced thugs snarled. Hood dropped down in front of them through the decrepit wooden floor and immediately delivered a round house kick to one thug’s head. The other, wielding a baseball bat, swung it at him, but Hood caught it with his hand and threw a fist to the guy’s stomach, and followed up with an elbow to the jaw, then a left hook to the temple, prying the bat from the man’s hand as he fell to the floor.

Hood threw the bat to the floor and then turned to the two children who were cowering in a corner. He started by taking off his helmet, still wearing a black domino mask underneath, since he was certain it looked pretty intimidating to the two tiny children. He knelt down in front of them and smiled.

“Hey. You don’t have to be scared. I’m not here to hurt you, and those bad guys over there? They won’t hurt you either,” Hood said in a soothing tone. The boy, with tears in the corners of his eyes, jumped in front of the little girl.

“Y-you stay away my my sister you big jerk!” the boy cried out. Hood was ever patient with children and he knew they were scared, but he was impressed by the boy’s courage. His smiled widened a little as he stood up to his full height again and gestured toward the door.

“You’re a brave boy, defending your sister like that. You’ve got guts, kid,” Hood complimented. “You guys are alone, and you’re scared. I know the feeling. I used to be just like you,” he went on. “But if you go to the old subway station, there are some people who will take good care of you, and make sure you’re safe. Understand?”

The boy nodded in response and so Jason pulled his helmet back on.

“Good. Run along then and I’ll make sure these jerks don’t follow you, okay?”

“Okay,” the boy replied in a low tone, grabbing his sister’s hand and running out of the building with her behind him. Hood watched them go, then turned to the two thugs laying on the floor as they started to come around. Hood knelt down in front of them and grabbed one of them by the collar of his jacket, hauling him up off the floor and slamming him against the wall.

“Why are you taking children?! Lie to me, and I’ll decorate this house with your brain matter,” Hood snarled angrily, jabbing a gun to the man’s temple. The man whimpered and raised his hands defensively.

“Please, it wasn’t my idea! An’ w weren’t sent to kidnap any kids tonight! We was told to just get the Hood’s attention!” The man cried out. Hood growled and slammed the man into the wall again.

“You have my full attention. Now talk,” Hood ground out, his tone threatening. The man swallowed, glancing over his shoulder as the other guy slowly got up, and quietly approached Hood from behind.

“I don’t know nothing,” the man replied.

“Wrong answer,” Hood snapped, backhanding the guy behind him without turning. Moments later, Batman, Nightwing, and Robin convened on his location, all dropping down through the destroyed floor above. Batman turned his head downward toward the thug on the floor, then grabbed him up and tied him up, tossing him in a corner.

“You were supposed to wait for us. It could’ve been a trap!” Nightwing scolded. Hood glanced over his shoulder and snorted.

“Well, it wasn’t. They were chasing some kids. Couldn’t wait for you guys,” Hood replied. He turned back to the thug in front of him. “And this douche bag was just about to tell me everything I wanted to know.”

“Okay, okay! It was the Joker! I work for the Joker! He wanted me to give you a message,” the man sputtered, pulling a small gift wrapped box with a replica of the Joker’s head on top of it. Hood snatched it from the man and tossed it to Batman while he knocked the thug out and tied him up.

“Scanning it. Oracle?” Batman asked, scanning the box.

“It’s safe. No devices of any kind inside,” Oracle reported. Batman’s eyes narrowed. Nightwing, Robin, and Red Hood gathered around him to see what was inside the box as he carefully pulled it open. Curiously, there were four tickets inside with their real names on them; one for Jason, Bruce, Dick, and Damian. Batman took them out and stared at them.

“Amusement Mile. The Joker’s stomping grounds. And there’s a date on it,” Batman said, glancing at each of them. “Dated for tomorrow night.”

“So I guess if we storm Amusement Mile, the chances of the Joker being there now are nil?” Hood suggested.

“Seems likely,” Batman replied, stowing the tickets away in a compartment in his utility belt. He looked inside the box again, and found a small tape recorder. He glared at the device and pulled it out of the box and played it.

“Hello, hello my esteemed costume clad friends! You’re all invited to a wild party at my house in Amusement Mile, tomorrow night! It’s guaranteed to be a blast! You’ll split your sides laughing! And don’t disappoint me, I’ll be waiting,” came the Joker’s voice from the recording, followed by a cackling laughter. Batman glowered at the device silently before tucking it away too.

“So what do we do now?” Nightwing asked, resting a hand on Batman’s shoulder. The man turned, and stalked out of the building.

“The Joker is still in Arkham as of tonight, which means he’s probably planning an escape some time between now and tomorrow night, if he hasn’t escaped already,” Batman explained as the others followed him out of the building. “I’m going to Arkham to keep a personal eye on the place. I suggest the rest of you continue patrolling through the rest of Gotham to see if you can find any trace of the Joker or his thugs.”

“Sounds doable,” Nightwing replied, crossing his arms over his chest. Hood glanced over at Nightwing, then back to Batman, and snorted.

“Fine. I’ll have my men keep their eyes open down here in the Bowery and report any clown-related crap to me,” Hood added in.

“I’m coming with you,” Robin said evenly, to which Batman simply nodded. He typed a few commands into his gauntlet and summoned the Batmobile. He jumped in, with Damian hopping in beside him, and then they raced off toward Arkham. That left Nightwing and Red Hood to their own devices.

“You okay, Jay? I know how you feel about child kidnappers,” Nightwing asked, placing a hand on Hood’s shoulder. Hood snorted in response and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m fine. If you’re worried I’m going to kill someone, don’t,” Hood replied, walking away from him and pulling out a grappling gun. He pointed it toward the roof of a building across the way and glanced back at Nightwing over his shoulder. “I only maim or seriously injure, now.” With that said, he fired a line and disappeared into the night, racing across the rooftops.

Nightwing watched him go with some concern still on his mind. He knew the man wasn’t killing any more, but he knew how he felt about child kidnappers. And the Joker. That was a double whammy. And whatever the Joker had hidden up his sleeve, it would not be pretty, for anyone involved.

For now however, he was content to continue patrolling Gotham for signs of the Joker. He typed a few commands into his own gauntlet to have his Nightcycle ride up in front of him minutes later. He hopped on and he too, disappeared into the night. Blüdhaven would be fine for a few nights without him.

* * *

The rest of the night, including patrol, was relatively quiet. Batman and Robin kept their eyes peeled on Arkham all night, and Jason had his men down in The Bowery keeping their eyes peeled for any sign of the Joker or his thugs. It was also reported that those two kids he’d rescued last night, had made it to the subway and were being well taken care of. So there was at least one plus side to events as of late.

Jason heaved a tired sigh when he got home and started peeling off his gear. He made his way into the bedroom and opened up the closet. Much alike his old apartment as “Jared”, he had a false wall in the back of the closet which opened up into a Gear Locker. Though with the kids walking and talking now, and also being rather intelligent and inquisitive for their ages, he was starting to consider moving all of his gear over to Dick’s “Batcave” in Blüdhaven. It was, after all, just a Zeta Tube trip away. And in this way, the kids would never coincidentally discover it.

Jason started stowing his gear away and began dressing down for bed. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw Dick’s half of the bed still empty, but he brushed it off. It wasn’t unusual for one or both of them to extend patrol for a little while longer. So Jason peeled off his shirt, heaving a sigh as he undid the button and zip of his jeans and tugged them down, along with his underwear. He grabbed a pair of black pajama pants and pulled them on, the climbed into bed. He was feeling rather exhausted.

But as he lay there, awake, he rolled over to glance at Dick’s empty half of the bed, listened carefully for the sound of someone climbing through the window. Alas, that sound didn’t come. With a deep breath, Jason closed his eyes, and within minutes, he found sleep.

* * *

Batman and Robin kept a constant vigil, alongside Oracle, over Arkham Asylum. Hours passed and yet not so much as a peep had been heard from the Asylum, from the Joker, or anyone with ties to him. Batman’s instincts told him that something was wrong, however.

“We’re going in to see the Joker,” Batman finally said, after the fourth hour of the stakeout. He hopped out of the car and Robin followed. The two of them made their way up toward the Asylum and inside they went.

“I need to see the Joker,” Batman ordered one of the staff. The man looked up at him, a little spooked at first, then nodded.

“Alright. This way,” he said, rising from his seat. The through the asylum lounge, where they were buzzed inside the Asylum itself. The man led them down the hallways, past the cells of various villains sent here by Batman himself; Freeze, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Mad Hatter, and more.

“Have you been keeping the Joker under lock and key?” Batman asked.

“Of course, Batman. Although he’s been unusually quiet lately,” the man answered, rounding the corner toward where The Joker’s cell was. Batman and Robin exchanged a look; something was definitely up. “It’s been a nice change of pace from his usual threats, jokes, and terrible puns.” They stopped before the Joker’s cell and the orderly unlocked his door. Batman and Robin went inside, and found the Joker, sitting in a corner quietly, bound in a straight jacket.

“Joker,” Batman said in a low tone, glowering at the figure in the corner. The clown turned to look at him, but something seemed…off. Batman’s glare intensified as he approached the clown. He grabbed him by the front of his straight jacket and hauled him off his feet. It wasn’t the Joker at all, but a janitor, wearing make-up, who had been gagged. “This isn’t the Joker,” Batman said darkly. He removed the straight jacket and the gag and wiped the makeup off of the janitor’s face, then threw him down on the bed.

“Where is he? Where is the Joker?” Batman growled. The janitor flinched a bit under Batman’s gaze.

“I-I don’t know, I swear! One minute I was mopping the floors, and the next, I’m gettin’ jumped and throw in this damn cell!” The janitor replied.

“And when was this?” Batman asked. The Janitor shrugged his shoulders, then rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to recall when he had been jumped.

“I’d say it was around, uh, noon-ish? Just after 1PM I’d say,” the janitor replied. Batman growled and spun around toward Robin.

“Tt, so we were correct; the Joker has escaped after all,” Robin snorted.

“So it would seem. And we have no idea where he is. We could try Amusement Mile, but I doubt he’ll be there,” Batman growled, storming out of the cell with Robin in tow. “Let’s go Robin. We’ve got a busy night ahead of us.”


	4. Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my fellow Gothamites! Today, I have a special show in store for all of you! It’ll be explosive! A real barrel of laughs!” The Joker called, throwing his arms out wide with a demented cackle The camera moved then, onto an image of--
> 
> “Dick!” Jason blurted out, eyes wide with shock. Nightwing was bound to a clown-themed “throne” that was sitting atop some explosives.

When Jason woke the next morning and Dick was still not there, he knew it was time to be concerned. He kept his panic in check for the moment, pulling himself out of bed and pulling on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. He glanced back at the empty spot on the bed once more before padding out of the bedroom, rubbing the back of his neck and letting out a yawn.

“Dickie? You home, babe?” Jason called, looking around for the man. No answer. “Dick?” he called again, looking everywhere, but to no avail. Now his panic was beginning to rise; Dick wasn’t anywhere in the house and he hadn’t come back home last night. That could mean only one thing. “Fuck!” Jason shouted angrily, digging his fingers into his scalp as he started pacing through the room. The Joker had Dick, it was the only thing that made sense!

“Unless he went to the manor,” Jason said quietly to himself. He made his way into the bedroom and quickly pulled on his socks, grabbed his jacket, and packed up his Red Hood gear, slinging it over his shoulder in a duffel bag. With that done, he made his way toward the front door. He kicked his boots on and then grabbed his keys off the wall. The coffee could wait; making sure Dick was safe was much more important right now.

Jason hurried down the stairs, skipping two at a time, and made his way out the door. He made his way over to his motorcycle, revving the engine a bit before peeling away from the building and heading off toward Wayne Manor.

He didn’t have time to get stopped by the cops, so he skirted the speed limit as he zig-zagged past the other cars on his way to the manor. It only took roughly seven minutes to get there. He parked the motorcycle just out front, then made his way to the front door, ringing the door bell. Alfred answered moments later.

“Ah, Master Jason. You’re here rather early,” Alfred observed. Jason flashed a smile and nodded.

“Yeah, is Dick here?” Jason asked nervously. Alfred shook his head.

“I’m afraid he is not, Master Jason. Was he not at home with you?” Alfred asked. Jason cursed loudly, muttering an apology to Alfred as he dug his fingers into his scalp.

“I need to see Bruce, now, Alfred. I think the Joker has Dick,” Jason explained. Alfred nodded and ushered Jason inside. The two of them made their way to the Batcave, because of course that’s where Bruce was.

Damian and Tim were in the cave sparring and Bruce was working at the computer, all of them seemingly unaware of Dick’s absence. Jason made his way through the cave toward Bruce, ignoring Tim and Damian’s sparring match for the moment.

“Bruce,” Jason called, prompting the man to turn in his chair. “Have you seen Dick at all? He didn’t come home last night,” Jason asked. Bruce frowned at that and turned back to his computer.

“No, I haven’t. You think--”

“The Joker has him? You fucking bet I do,” Jason snapped angrily. Bruce got out of the chair and wordlessly moved toward the gear locker. He pulled on his armor and cowl and as he made his way back toward the computer, Barbara/Oracle appeared on the screen.

“Guys, you’re going to want to see this,” she said, pulling up a “Breaking News” story. The Joker appeared on screen then, cackling like a maniac. Jason growled to himself as he glared up at the screen. Tim and Damian stopped their sparring match to join Jason and Bruce near the Batcomputer to see what the demented clown had in store for them _this_  time.

“Hello my fellow Gothamites! Today, I have a special show in store for all of you! It’ll be _explosive!_ A real barrel of laughs!” The Joker called, throwing his arms out wide with a demented cackle The camera moved then, onto an image of--

“Dick!” Jason blurted out, eyes wide with shock. Nightwing was bound to a clown-themed “throne” that was sitting atop some explosives.

“Batsy, Hood, I know you’re watching, and if you want this little birdie back before I clip his wings, we’re going to play a little game!” The Joker declared, gesturing toward the chair. “This chair is rigged to go boom in one hour! But you see, I’ve prepared a couple of special surprises at the Gotham City Orphanage, and Gotham City General Hospital! Find my little presents and deal with them, and you’ll find the location of Bird Boy here,” the Joker giggled. “Because if you don’t, Nightwing and possibly half of Gotham are in for quite a _blast_!”

“I’m going to kill him slowly,” Jason growled darkly, hands clenching into fists. He watched as the Joker moved toward Nightwing, grabbing him by his hair and yanking his head back to look into the camera.

“Now, now, say hello to the audience, birdy,” The Joker said, patting Nightwing’s face. Nightwing groaned, but otherwise showed no response. The Joker looked into the camera and lifted up a bloody crowbar. “Ooh, guess he took one too many crowbars to the face! But hey, Hoodie, you’re well acquainted with our mutual friend here, ain’tcha?” The Joker asked, fingering the crowbar. He gave a demented laugh and then the camera cut to commercial.

“We have to save him,” Jason growled. Batman placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

“We will. Trust me, Jason,” Bruce replied. Jason grit his teeth and clenched his fists. “But you have to remain calm. Don’t let your emotions get out of hand. If we make any mistakes--”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Jason replied, throwing his arms up in frustration. He started digging through his duffel bag and donning his gear while Batman moved toward the Batmobile.

“Robin, with me. Tim, stay here and prepare the antitoxin, just in case. Jason, you go to the orphanage--” Batman began, barking orders, when he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Not without me! I’m with you, Jaybird,” came Arsenal’s voice. Jason turned just before he donned his helmet, to see Arsenal coming down into the cave with his bow in hand. “I decided to come by and help. Ollie’s got the kids, but when I heard the Joker was involved--” Roy began. Jason hugged him before he could finish.

“Thanks for coming Roy. He has Dick,” Jason answered. Roy frowned at that admission and patted Jason’s shoulder.

“No worries, we’ll get him back.”

“And no killing,” Batman ordered as he and Robin jumped into the Batmobile.

“I can work with that,” Arsenal replied with a grin, firing a burst from a napalm gun he had on him.

“Oh trust me, I can work with that, too,” Jason said darkly, pulling his helmet on.

* * *

Red Hood and Arsenal arrived at the Gotham City Orphanage in Midtown Gotham on Hood’s motorcycle. Oracle was guiding both he and Roy, and Batman and Robin.

“Alright, I’ve pulled up some old architectural blueprints of the orphanage. Hood, listen; in an alleyway, two buildings down, there's a hidden entrance that goes down into a tunnel and leads to a basement level beneath the Orphanage," Oracle explained, the sound of keyboard keys clacking over the comm link. "The orphanage was built on top of an old club that burned down in 1930s. Your way in, that basement level, was a speakeasy used during the prohibition era."

"Nice place to build an orphanage," Arsenal called with an amused snort. Oracle chuckled at the comment.

"Hey, it's Gotham City, what’d you expect?” she replied. Hood snorted as well.

“Sounds about right for Gotham. Alright, thanks. We’re on our way.” Hood parked the motorcycle in an alleyway and engaged the cloaking for good measure, then followed Oracle’s instructions. Sure enough, he found an old secret entrance to a tunnel behind a dumpster. They followed the tunnel which led into the basement level of the orphanage. The entrance to the tunnel from the orphanage, was through an old storage locker. Hood went in first with Arsenal behind him.

Just around the corner from there, the room was filled with kids wielding various melee weapons and fire arms, while also wearing clown masks. They seemed almost lifeless however; something was wrong. But a good look at that mask confirmed what Hood had suspected.

“We’ve found the kids that’ve been kidnapped from The Bowery. They’re wearing clown masks. I think Joker is using Mad Hatter’s mind control tech,” Hood whispered into the comm link.

“I can confirm that,” came Batman’s voice over the comm link. “We have the same thing here at the hospital. Sleeping gas safely neutralized the children. I inspected the inside of the mask and found circuitry similar to that of the tech developed by Jervis Tetch.”

“Great. Just great,” Hood snorted. He glanced back at Arsenal and asked “I don’t suppose you have any sleeping gas arrows on you?”

“I’ve got foam arrows,” Arsenal replied. Hood hummed in annoyance to himself. He didn’t want to hurt the kids at all, but it was looking like they might have to.

“I don’t like this at all,” Hood growled.

“I know, I don’t either, but what choice do we have?” Arsenal asked. Hood loaded his guns up with rubber bullets and glanced back at Arsenal.

“Alright, let’s do this. I’m going to make the Joker suffer for this,” Jason growled. He and Arsenal jumped out of cover, alerting the children to his presence. Almost immediately, they began attacking them. Arsenal immediately loosed a series of foam arrows, trapping at least seven of the children in foam. Hood unloaded on the children attacking them with melee children, careful to inflict as little pain as possible. He hated every moment of it, but he hated the Joker for it, more.

Once the children were down, they went about removing the masks from their faces. Once that was done, they proceeded to look for the bomb. And it couldn’t have been more obvious. They rounded another corner and found the bomb, a gift wrapped package in the middle of the room. Hood scanned it and sent them to Oracle.

"It's definitely a bomb, but it's hard to tell what kind. The only way to defuse it is to open it, but if you open it, it'll start a count down, so you'll have to be quick," Oracle said to him. Arsenal didn't answer, and got to work on that bomb. He opened it, and a clown head on a giant spring popped out of the box. The bomb was located in its mouth, with thirty seconds on the clock. Arsenal frantically began looking for a panel to pull free and found it on the actual box itself. He pulled it open and threw the panel aside.

"Uh...Oracle? I found the wires, but um..." Arsenal began, staring at a set of four wires; Purple, Green, Black, Red and Black. Arsenal scanned the wires and stared up at the clock; _fifteen seconds._

"Okay listen! Red and Black, then Green, then Black, and then Purple!" Oracle told him after a few seconds. Arsenal wasted no time and started cutting the wires in order. With only three seconds on the clock, he cut the final wire and the clock stopped. Arsenal breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his brow. He turned to Jason who finished tying the children up, just in case. There was no telling what else the Joker had done to them, and so he didn’t want to risk them hurting themselves by accident.

“I’ve got a set of numbers here,” Arsenal began as the numbers flashed on the display of the disarmed bomb.

“Batman got some too. I’ve put the numbers together, and it seems to be a set of coordinates. I’m plugging them in to see where they lead,” Oracle answered. The sound of clacking keys came over the comm link as she tried to determine where the coordinated led.

“Well?” Hood asked a little impatiently. Oracle was silent for a moment longer, then reported in once she puzzled out the location.

“They lead to Amusement Mile,” Oracle answered. Hood snorted and rolls hie eyes.

“Of course they do. Well then, let’s get going,” Hood replied. He waved to Arsenal and together, the two of them left the orphanage through the same tunnel they’d come in through.

“We’ll meet you as Amusement Mile,” Batman said over the link “and remember, hood--”

“I know, I know! Non-lethal. So you keep repeating.”

“Just making sure we’re clear.”

“Crystal.”


	5. Joke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Welcome one, welcome all, to Joker’s Funland!” The Joker’s voice called out over the speakers, followed by a demented giggle.
> 
> “You have a pretty messed up idea of ‘fun’,” Hood snapped angrily, carefully rendering another child unconscious with a pressure point attack.
> 
> “Oh lighten up, dead bird!” The Joker joked, giggling again.

Batman, Robin, Arsenal and Red Hood arrived at Amusement Mile within a handful of minutes. They stood before the amusement park, a place that should have been filled with fun and wonder. But looking up at this bleak, desolate place, and knowing that it belonged to the Joker, was enough to send chills up their spines. This place was haunted, perhaps not in the traditional sense, but haunted nonetheless.

“This is a trap,” Red Hood observed. Arsenal snorted and strung his bow, knocking an arrow as he slowly proceeded into the amusement park, passing underneath the “Amusement Mile” entrance arch above.

“Yep. Not that we have much of a choice,” Arsenal replied. Hood followed after him moments later, his guns drawn and at the ready. Batman and Robin followed in after them. As soon as they entered the amusement park, the place powered up; lights turned on, music started playing rides started up, the whole place was brought to life.

“This is a trap,” Hood repeated in a low growl this time, looking around for… _anything_. Arsenal backed up a bit to join Hood at his side with his bow drawn. Batman and Robin stood back to back as well, and soon came the sound of laughter. Suddenly, from seemingly every shadows, every nook and cranny, clown-masked children descended upon then wielding various melee and improvised weapons; crow bars, tire irons, baseball bats, broken bottles, shards of glass, and so on.

The worst part was the laughter; the children sounded unhinged, laughing uncontrollably.

“The masks! They’re been hit with Joker Toxin!” Hood pointed out. He turned to Batman and Robin, then to Arsenal. They all wordlessly stowed their weapons; it was an unspoken thing between all of them that none of them liked what they were about to, and had to, do. But it had to be done.

“Be careful with them,” Batman said as the children started attacking.

“I know, I know! This sucks!” Hood shouted as he delivered careful, precise strikes to disable the children with as little pain as possible. “How is that antitoxin coming?” he asked over the comm link to Red Robin.

“It’s almost done!” Red Robin replied.

“Great, we could use it yesterday!” Arsenal chimed in.

“Welcome one, welcome all, to Joker’s Funland!” The Joker’s voice called out over the speakers, followed by a demented giggle.

“You have a pretty messed up idea of ‘fun’,” Hood snapped angrily, carefully rendering another child unconscious with a pressure point attack.

“Oh lighten up, dead bird!” The Joker joked, giggling again.

“I’ll lighten you up. Five pounds, right off your god damn shoulders,” Hood snarled. “What’ve you done to Nightwing you demented fuck?!”

“Uh, uh, uh! That’d be telling! Can’t spoil the surprise now can we?!” The speakers squealed for a moment as they went dead, signaling the Joker cutting the connection. Once the last of the children were dealt with and tied up so they wouldn’t hurt anyone else, the group proceeded toward the Funhouse.

“Joker’s Funhouse? Pfft. That’s a house of nightmares,” Hood snorted, standing in front of the Funhouse and looking up at the sign that Joker renamed. Arsenal placed a hand on his shoulders and flashed a concerned look.

“You okay to go in there, Jay?” he asked. Hood was silent for a few moments before he continued inside.

“Golden. Let’s find Dick, put the clown back in Arkham, and get the hell out of here,” Hood replied. Arsenal shared a look with Batman, and then the two of them and Robin, followed him inside. They silently passed by the funhouse mirrors, content to ignore the distorted reflections.

“Ah memories! How’s about a trip down memory lane, hmm?” The Joker’s voice sounded again. The four of them exchanged some looks, stopping momentarily to check their surroundings for any kind of trap or joke coming their way. But nothing came. They continued forward, and then--

“You and Nightwing went ahead and got hitched, but let’s have a look at the road that led ya there, eh?” came the Joker’s voice. Red Hood’s breath caught in his throat as pictures of himself as Robin, beaten, bloody, and bound, started appearing on the walls. “We had quite the blast, didn’t we kid?” the Joker asked, giving another demented giggle. “Even Mommy dearest knew a lost cause when she saw one. Threw you to me to save her own hide!”

Hood glowered at the pictures, his fists tightening, anger soaring toward peak levels. Arsenal was at his side in an instant, patting his back and trying to calm him down.

“Don’t let him get in your head,” Arsenal warned.

“Too late. This is already personal. First that god damned video, then he takes Dick, now this?”

“Hood, this is what he wants,” Batman said, laying a hand on his other shoulder. Hood spun around and swatted Batman’s hand off of him.

“Yeah, and none of this would be happening if he was fucking dead,” Hood snarled angrily.

“Oooh, he’s gotcah there, Bats!” the Joker chimed in with a demented giggle. The pictures changed again, this time of Barbara after just having been shot by the Joker. She was lying on the floor, bleeding, looking terrified. “And here we have one Barbara Gordon, courtesy of yours truly!”

“Fuck you,” Hood snarled, shoving past Batman and storming further into the Funhouse. Batman stared at the pictures, teeth gnashing, fists clenching. He kept his cool, though, unwilling to give the Joker what he wanted.

“Oh but enough about memory lane! Onto the Grand Finale!”

Hood threw open the double doors that led to a backroom, and there sat Nightwing, atop of the clown-themed throne, on top of a bomb. He was unconscious, the side of his face caked in dried blood. Seeing Nightwing like that, made his blood boil. He wanted to run to him, disarm the bomb, untie him and take him home, but he knew better than that; was trained better than that.

“Welcome to the Grand Finale!” came the Joker’s voice. He came out from behind the throne, clapping his hands, his naturally red lips curved into a demented grin. “You know, I always hated this bird the most,” The Joker commented, roughly gripping Nightwing by his chin and turning his head to look at him. Nightwing groaned, but was still out of it. Hood drew his gun and pointed it at the clown, firing a warning shot. The Joker giggled and jumped back as the bullet whizzed past his head.

“Take your slimy hands off him, you demented, pasty-faced freak,” Hood snapped viciously. The Joker gave a demented giggle.

“Oooh, temper, temper! Still the same angry bird I beat to death in that shed, I see.”

“No. I’m stronger than that kid. I’m also willing to put a bullet in your demented skull, and not feel a god damned thing about it.”

“Jason--” Batman started

“Shut up!” Hood snapped at him.

“You know the problem with this one?” Joker asked, seemingly ignoring Hood. Joker stood before Nightwing again, giving his face a single pat. “Nothing I ever did, stuck with this one! Try as I might to traumatize him, nothing ever stuck! That was until--” the Joker began, turning slowly toward them “--I killed you! Oh you shoulda seen the look on his face when I made him watch me kill you on the silver screen!”

“It’s over, Joker,” Batman declared, stepping past all of them.

“Oh no, not yet it’s not! You want your little bridie back, you have to disarm the bomb!” The Joker replied, gesturing toward the bomb under his chair. “Let me rephrase! You--” he said, pointing at Jason “--have to disarm it!” Hood disarm this bomb, and that little GCPD Charity Gala gets pumped full of Joker toxin!”

“You son of a--” Red Hood snarled, but before he could move a muscle, the Joker put a clown-themed gun to Dick’s head.

“Don’t be so hasty! I’ll be seein’ you kiddies around! The clock’s a tickin’; decide whose more important to you; your little birdie, or half of the GCPD!” The Joker giggled hysterically, and right on cue, two large and not-so-bright thugs known as “Righty” and “Lefty” entered the room to cover the Joker’s escape.

“I heard that. I don’t think the Joker knows that Oracle is back in town yet. I’ve just sent Tim to the location of the GCPD Charity Gala,” Oracle said to Batman over his comm link.

“Good. Hood, disarm that bomb! We’ll cover you!” Batman declared, jumping into the fray alongside Robin, against Lefty and Righty.

“The Joker ain’t getting away, mark my words!” Arsenal called, chasing after the Joker.

“Arsenal, wait!” Hood called after him as he knelt before the bomb underneath Nightwing’s chair. Arsenal stopped and glanced over at him. “Be careful.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this!” Arsenal replied, flashing a smile as he continued after the clown.

Hood started by scanning the bomb, then opened it as Oracle instructed. He glanced occasionally toward the fight, as Batman and Robin fought off Righty and Lefty. They weren’t exactly genius level, to put it mildly, but they were huge, built like tanks, and strong. They were putting up quite a fight.

“You sure you guys don’t need a hand?” Hood asked as he awaited further instruction from Oracle. He knew how to disarm bombs, but he was afraid of screwing this one up, particularly because Dick’s life was at stake here.

“Tt, you worry too much. We’ve got it handled, Hood. Just take care of that,” Robin snapped. Hood snorted in response and turned back to the bomb.

“Okay, listen; you need to cut the red wire first, then the black one, then the red and green one, then the purple one, in that order, understand?” Oracle instructed. Hood took a deep breath and began cutting wires, one by one, the task making it simpler to drown out the fight going on nearby.

“How’s the bomb coming?” Batman asked as he and Robin tied up the unconscious duo, Righty and Lefty.

“It’s done,” Hood replied, cutting the final wire. The bomb died, but the joke wasn’t over. They all heard a beep and looked toward its source; red LED lights lit up, revealing another bomb clear across the room, and with only five seconds left on the clock. “Shit!” Hood shouted, desperately untying Nightwing.

“There’s no times!” Batman shouted, grabbing Hood and Nightwing across the room, then jumping on top of Damian. As the timer struck 0, rainbow confetti, and a a Joker head popped out, like a jack-in-the-box, and started laughing.

“HA-HA-HA, Joke’s on you, Batman!” the Joker’s voice sounded from a speaker inside the clown head, that kept repeating over and over. Batman growled as he got to his feet, tugging Robin up with him. Hood lifted the still unconscious Nightwing up into his arms and glared at the “bomb”.

“That fucking clown,” Hood snarled. He looked toward the exit that Arsenal had taken in pursuit of Joker, and carried Nightwing out through it, in search of his friend.

“The GCPD is on their way to Amusement Mile. Tim successfully found and defused the bomb at the charity gala, and will hand out the antidote to the authorities for the children when he meets them there,” Oracle reported.

“Good. The Joker still got the last laugh tonight though. The bombs here were a dud, just a prank,” Batman answered.

“Yeah, somehow that’s not surprising,” she replied.

* * *

 

Dick was ordered by Alfred to stay in bed and recover for the next week or so. Alfred had a look at him, and other than some minor cuts and bruises, and a couple of bruised ribs, he would be fine. He wanted to go home though, and so Jason took him home, and together, they came up with the cover story that he’d injured himself in an accident at his gym in Blüdhaven.

And of course, on Alfred’s orders, Jason made __sure__  he stayed in bed and was taking care of him himself.

“So, the Joker got away then?” Dick asked, sitting up in bed. He groaned as pain lanced up his side. He had bandages wrapped around his head and his torso, as well as a few smaller bandages covering some minor cuts and scrapes.

“Unfortunately. Roy went after him, but Harley Quinn knocked him out. Surprise attack,” Jason answered. Dick gave a nod in response. As if on cue, the twins rushed into the bedroom, after Roy had brought them home from Star City. He cheated and took the Zeta Tube while the twins were napping in his arms. And of course, Lian had to come to, to make sure her “Uncle D” was okay.

“Uncle D!” Lian chortled, joining the twins on the bed as the three of them hugged him.

“Hey princess, how are yo--ow, not so hard!” Dick winced hugging the little girl. He turned to the twins, Keiran and Kaden, who practically threw themselves at him, pulling nother pained groan out of him.

“Baba!” the twins called in unison. Dick laughed as he held all three of the children in his arm.

“Hey Dickie, how’re you feeling?” Roy asked, leaning against the door frame. Dick smiled brightly.

“Better now. Thanks for bringing the kids home. And taking care of them during this whole mess.”

“No worries. That’s what friends are for,” Roy replied, flashing a smirk. Dick laughed again as the children hugged him and he replied by kissing each of their foreheads.

“I love you guys. And you too,” Dick said to them, looking up at Jason on the last part. “C’mere,” he added, gesturing for Jason to come closer. Jason smirked and moved closer, allowing Dick to pull him in for a kiss. Keiran and Kaden giggled.

“Aw, you like it when daddy kisses mommy?” Jason teased, earning a punch in the shoulder from Dick.

“Hey, watch it! I may be injured, but I can still kick your butt!”


End file.
